79 Laugh-Out-Loud Ways to Get Rid of Mr. Wrong - annotated and amplified

79 Laugh-Out-Loud Ways to Get Rid of Mr. Wrong

Although Elle advice columnist E. Jean Carroll writes mostly about how to find the man of your dreams in her latest book Mr. Right, Right Now!, she reserved the last witty chapter to show women how to drive men away, which you have to admit is pretty tempting at times. But best of all, you don't have to be in the market for ridding yourself of Mr. Wrong to enjoy her hilarious suggestions below. Take a look!

Oh, can we play too?

Best Way #1. Always end arguments by turning some deeply private secret he's confided to you...against him. Then add, "Screw you, you slobbering half-wit!"

1.5 Even Better Way: Stage an intervention. Include his parents and siblings if possible, but make sure that at very least, his boss, co-workers and closest friends are there.

7. Ask him once a week, "So, where do we stand?"

8. Or, if you prefer a more dramatic scrotum-tightener, ask, "So, where do we stand as a couple?"

8.5. At the worst possible, most awkward moment concevable, ask "Do you think I'm pretty?" If you are damn sure the answer will be an unthinking "yes," add "...as Angela Jolie."

8.6 Wake him up to ask these questions. For each one. The night before a critical early meeting. After all, there's nothing more important to you than your relationship.

8.6.5 Remind him of that constantly.

23. Ask him about his "personal feelings concerning the relationship" while he's watching the final two minutes of the seventh game of the NBA championship series. If he doesn't hear you, snap off the TV and hurl the remote out the window.

23.5. For extra points, stage this scene in public during a tense conversation with a social rival.

28. Is he feeling a tad overwhelmed by the serious turn your affair is taking? Surprise him with loads of expensive gifts for no reason.

28.5 For extra points, get your mom and sister to do it.

28.6 Make sure it's clothing designed to remake his entire image into something "acceptable" and alien to his entire being.

66. Trick him, dupe him, deceive him with every breath you take

-- i.e., follow The Rules.

Oooh, catty much? Not that she's wrong on this point. Viz:
66.5 Sleep with his best friend in order to learn deep secrets he won't tell you. For usage, see #1.

76. If you earn more money than he does, make sure you boost his ego by letting him pay for absolutely everything.

76.5. If he doesn't have the money, slip it to him! After all, it's not whether he can afford it, it's that everyone THINKS he can. Because, well, you wouldn't be dating a LOSER, right?

And one whole new one....

80. Make sure he knows you have standards and expect him to live up to them. Should he actually do that, raise the bar immediately!

Permalink to full story.

When Morality Becomes Idiocy - the prosecution of sexually exploited children.

blog.myspace.com/duckydoolittle

I'd have more to say about this - but I'll defer to an expert. Besides, if you need an explanation as to why this is fundamentally unethical, immoral and operationally stupid, you probably wouldn't read my blogs anyhow...

Change the System!

A child can not legally consent to sex, so why does our system prosecute child prostitutes as criminals? Once locked up they receive virtually no counseling, psychological care, or help finding a safe place to live. Sadly, when young people get out of lock up, they usually return to the streets. Experts agree that prosecuting sexually exploited young people further traumatizes them and makes it more difficult for them to create any kind of stability in their lives. Sign up for the National Juvenile Justice Network email list and raise your awareness. Learn about how you can support valuable legislation and care for children who need your voice, awareness and light.

(As with all of my posts of this nature ~ please re-post and share freely.)

[EDIT: Just to clarify, I am speaking of American girls. If these girls were not American citizens they would be protected under immigrant sex trafficking laws. But because they are American citizens they do not qualify for the benefits and services given to non-citizens. We just need to recognize valid need for our protection. They have slipped through a very large crack.]

tag: child sex trafficing, child prostitution, morality, law, ethics, church-state, moralism Permalink to full story.

From the mentality that gave us "don't ask, don't tell."

Teacher arrested under peeping-tom law - Yahoo! News

Ware was charged under a 2001 law meant to protect people from ultra-small cameras that can be used to peek into dressing rooms or up women's skirts. Under the law, filming a person without consent for sexual arousal is a felony.

...but merely watching teenagers wrestle and perform gymnastics in skintight Lycra fetish gear is perfectly OK - as long as you refrain from obviously masturbating.

Every time the Olympics or Pan-Am games comes around, we are treated with front-page crotch shots of apparently pre-pubescent gymnasts, who's fan bases sound as if they are not entirely unaffected by the Reuters-supplied "upskirt" images.

While it's admittedly impressive that these hormonally-depleted dwarfs can plant their tushies on their cutely pigtailed heads while doing a hand-stand, a side-view would be more impressive and less... suggestive.

But then, American Anti-pornography laws have always seemed to be less concerned with protecting women and children from sexual exploitation and more concerned with the social threat of calling attention to the plight of the exploited. So we all are supposed to pretend that there is no possibility that anyone looking at such displays of sweaty hard bodies rubbing against one another and posing to display their perfectly sculpted backsides would ever, ever cause the minds of good Church-going PTA members to stray. Proof to the contrary - as the above story shows - is entirely unwelcome!

Under current law, you can get far more time for possessing photographic evidence of a child being raped than for actually raping the child. Believe it or not. The penalty in law for raping your OWN child is often far lower than if you molest another person's child. But preserving evidence of EITHER act - that's FAR worse. You might make use of it in some socially-unapproved way, like, say, busting a child rapist.

It makes me question the legislative intent, and this new law causes me to wonder even more, along with the real (as opposed to the touted) morality of our nation.

I've been through the wars on this issue, from nearly every angle. I spent several years working in the capacity of online councilor with people who had grown up being molested and raped every day, people who finally broke down under the pressure of not being able to talk about it, people who faced crushing scorn and disbelief from entire organizations dedicated to spreading the idea that any allegation of incest was either the lie of a spiteful child or a therapeutically-suggested "false memory."

And the whole time there was a flood of evidence over in alt.pictures.binaries.erotica.children.

But it's illegal for a survivor of such an event to have a photo proving that it occurred, much less computer records of the sort of search needed to find one, that's right out. "It's MY picture" is not an exception under the law, making this the one sort of crime where a search for evidence of a crime is in itself a crime. I find it increasingly difficult to believe this is an unintentional situation, especially in light of Right-Wing Christianist movements to legitimize and sanctify their patriarchal "ownership society," in which women and children can legally be kept isolated from any reality checks. This is why I'm deeply suspicious of the motives behind most homeschooling movements and most voucher programs. I've seen the alternatives they recommend as being more godly or "accurate." And I thought a public education was an exercises in badly presented social propaganda.

Prudery kills. Toxic secrecy kills. If you disbelieve me, check the suicide statistics for abuse survivors. Or spend an hour a week manning a suicide hot line.

It's a hell of a price to pay for the benefit of those folks who would prefer to believe that we ever lived in Mayberry.

tag: covert pornography, sexual ethics, Morality, Ethics, Republican Values, pornography laws, prudery, patriarchy Permalink to full story.