Caution - Mature Subjects - Grownups Only!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Putting Feminist Theory Aside For The Moment...

36, originally uploaded by jasfire.

Biology clearly has a part to play.

Of course, this is also about how quickly rrrowwwllll can turn to awwwww!

Boobs and new baby smell. Two of the most viscerally amazingly wonderful things. I have found over my lifetime that it's far, far better to make positive sense of them, rather than try to argue with myself or with others that that viscereal sensation is some subtle snare of the devil.

"There is no sin but that thinking makes it so," and as far as I'm concerned, this is a great illustration of "Honi Soit Qui Mal Y Pense."

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Here's a life lesson for you...

clipped from

It would seem to me that in most cases, if a 49-year-old man intended to sexually abuse a 16-year-old girl and she stabbed him, the cries of “self defense” would be deafening.  Under most circumstances, if a 16-year-old girl was sent to jail for 2 to 2 1/2 years because of stabbing a man who attempted to sexually abuse her, there would be public outrage.

So why silence now?  Is it not self defense when you’re working as a prostitute?  Are we back to the legal system’s “prostitutes can’t be raped” theory?  Does this dehumanizing, misogynistic and rape apologist myth now apply to children, as well?

Even worse, the prosecution openly admits that the girl’s claims of kidnapping and attempted rape are credible:

he man she killed seemingly without a doubt had intent to sexually harm her.  The prosecution accepts that the girl’s story is credible.  And both the defense and prosecution admit that if the case had been allowed to go to trial, she would have likely been acquitted. 
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And what does this teach you, children? What example does THIS set?

It seems to me that this does not reflect well on either prosecution or defense, and in the particular case of defense council, I cannot help but think that an ethics review is in order.

Oh, and an appeal based on the clearly improper advice of council is damn well in order.
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Sunday, October 26, 2008

Yeah. It's Like that.

clipped from

It occurred to me, as I sat there watching an interracial couple banging, that jacking off in a hotel room was not unlike the larger experience of campaign reporting. You watch two performers. You kind of like it when one of them gets humiliated. You know they’re professionals, so you don’t feel much sympathy for them. You wish you could participate, but instead you watch with a hidden envy and feel vaguely ashamed for watching. You think you could probably do as good a job or better. You sometimes get a glimpse, intentionally or not, of society’s hidden desires and fears. You watch the porn week after week, the scenes almost always the same, none of them too memorable. The best ones get sent around the Internet.

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Blogging, of course, is a particularly unrewarding form of solitary vice.

What's even worse is that this silly post will be my money shot for the month, because it has "jacking off" and "Porn" in it.

I'm just too jaded to take this any further, other than to say that the mindless ejaculations of Palin Supporters DO remind me of the mindless ejaculations of the fans of Hot Wife Porn over on flickr.

Except that it seems somehow less degrading to everyone involved.
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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Ownership Culture, BDSM and The Ethics of Power

I Speak from Authority

It's probably obvious by now that I have a certain bias toward power exchange relationships.

Ownership Event Invitation card
BDSM and the ethics of BDSM are part and parcel of my core understanding of interpersonal relationships. It's especially useful to me because BDSM makes a fetish - so to speak - of explicitly stating relationships that are more commonly (mis)understood on a dynamic, ad-hoc basis; often assigned arbitrarily and without much attention paid to competence. As an Asperger's male, that makes me absolutely nuts.

This tendency has been particularly conspicuous in political life of late, and most particularly on the Authoritarian end of the political spectrum. There are many people who are drawn to power - both in the sense of submission and in the sense of having others bend the knee - with almost no attention paid to donating power responsibly or using it wisely and well.

More below the fold...

I deal with a great deal of irony in my personal life, as I'm a reflexive anti-authoritarian - with the need to be in authority! Yes, I know, it's absurd - but my way to deal with that is to chuckle in a deeply masculine way and state with more than mere hubris that, yes, I damn well AM an authority - on that which I'm talking about. When I don't know, I smile and nod wisely, with an air of interested skepticism conveyed by a slightly raised eyebrow.

But as a person who has that need to be an authority, I am pretty much obliged to explore the extremes. Childhood was my introduction to one extreme, so now I'm doing the utterly predictable - attempting to find a way of recapitulate my childhood from the other side. Or so any family therapist would say.

Accurately, I'm afraid. But the difference is that I've learned that mindless mimicry of one's formative examples is a very, very bad idea. At the same time - that's who you are and that's how you think. It behooves one, therefore, to think very carefully about how to think that way in ways that bring approval, success and the ultimate proof in this context - a life-long relationship.

That, by the by, takes two. And it is in this sense that a power-imbalanced relationship must be equal, for everyone involved has an equal responsibility to maintaining that particular balance of power.

I have to say that I've learned almost nothing about "being in control" from Dominants - not because of who and what they are, or because they lack competence and wisdom, but because I'm so not that guy. The most important thing I did learn about it from one well-known lifestyle and scene dominant was that in many ways it IS about compensating for one's flaws, flaws that one might get away with in a more "vanilla" context. His issue was that he was an reflexive asshole and abuser. His kink was messing with people for fun - and he'd come to not like the consequences. At the same time, it was who he was.

So, while that's primarily the single lesson I've learned from other "tops," it's a critical one; the one that makes all the "hows" and "why's" I've gleaned from submissives useful to me.

One must stand and lead from the place one is. One may be a "Reiker," a "Janeway" or a "Picard," and if one is IN command, one must lead from that essential nature. You can put on a character for a scene, for an evening, or even (I know to my own cost) a few years - but since it's not your life, it won't last. Trust me on that.

This is not to say that it's not fun to step out of one's comfort zone or even entirely outside of reality. Hell, I absolutely recommend it! But for "The Lifestyle" to work, it really has to come out of your gut, your essence and your nature. For most of us - and by us, I include all of "us" that are willing to admit being more than somewhat kinky - life is far less exciting than people outside of the relationship probably assume.

That's because "The Lifestyle" has to allow for all the things life includes - children, clogged sinks, jobs, family, community - all things that tend to take you out of "head-space."

But ordinary, successful vanilla heterosexual, monogamous marriage does not depend on "head-space," either. And that is really what we are talking about - without, of course, insisting on the aspects of heterosexuality, monogamy or vanilla sex.

Which, by the by, matter far less than you might think. Successful relationships may arise out of such things - but the grow into far much more, to the point where the things you thought would be critical are no longer issues at all. That's what happens when everyone in that relationship is coming from that core of authenticity.

Of course that rather requires that you are honest with you and yours about what that core is.

Me, I'm a caretaker personality, a socially clueless male autistic and a sadist. What I'm not is "dominant." I like being in control - but I don't at all enjoy having to control someone. I'm not into walking into a room and taking charge. I can do it - but there has to be a damn good reason. I don't particularly enjoy confrontation or competition, because I simply do not do that "male culture" thing.

That's because, frankly, my hind-brain treats such things in very stark terms, and if forced into conflict with a competitive male, it won't be symbolic. It took a lot of years, bruises and a few close calls to sort this one out. The way I do it is to draw sharp lines. "Mine." "Not Mine." Those lines work for me, and anyone within those lines had best understand that this is a non-negotiable, bedrock thing for me.

No doubt John Bradshaw would have much to say about this - but here I am, and that's what I am. My solution is to not change who I am, but to be who I am as best and as ethically as I possibly can - and so far it seems to be working for me well enough to indulge my tendency to speak from Authority.

As I said, my life is a great big old pile of rusty irony. I'm committed to the concepts of human rights. I'm an anti-authoritarian. I snicker aloud when my fellow man claims that his stiff penis - or penis substitute - gives him the inherent right to rule. I become incensed when such men drag God into it.

For myself, I see no isolated "right." I see a drive, mutual but asymmetrical needs and a consequential duty; these give meaning to the word "right." As in "it's my job to be..."

If you must rule and if you expect to spend any time doing it, you had best learn to lead wisely and well, to the general betterment of all "under your hand." And those "under your hand" are most comfortable when their position is as natural, comfortable and fulfilling for them as it is for you.

That means that there is no place within my concept of "ownership culture" for perps and victims. If your kink is to be debased and discarded - well, I'll accept that it's your kink - but don't expect me to participate.

Nor will I tolerate perpish behavior toward me and mine. There's nothing in BDSM or even within Ownership culture that justifies being an arrogant, incompetent asshole - and in practice, your odds of a successful Saturday night are one heck of a lot better outside of this culture if you are.

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

"Top" illustration: Ownership Event Invitation
by Ownership

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Monday, October 13, 2008

Good way to get help in a store?

My comment was "That's udderly unethical." The first priority was to make a cheap and satisfying pun. But the question itself is indeed worth asking?

My feminist friends will say that she's objectifying herself (if they don't use the term "prostituting.") For myself, I think that the males involved are behaving as quite predictable objects. And we also have to question whether it's a reaction she could physically avoid provoking.

I find I am not immune - and at an age where I really "should" be. Common wisdom, of course; I'm of the general view that much "common wisdom" is uncommonly stupid.

But I'm minded of Papa Heinlein's comment, paraphrased: "If I ever stop looking at pretty girls, push me over; I'm dead."

Several articles and television programs have fueled this thought, particularly one I saw last night on the effects of testosterone on both men and women. It's behavioral effects are profound, but one of the more interesting things about testosterone production in people (and estrogen, I suspect as well) is that it's levels also fluctuate according to things such as social status, competitive success and whether or not one has fathered a child - or indeed, whether or not one has recently held a baby!

My lifelong observation of human behavior and it's rationalizations have led me to believe that the current social insanity that the United States suffers from is in large part due to our touching belief that we can rise above the promptings of hormones and hind-brains, when in fact our fore-brains are at best equipped to steer us safely toward fulfilling those urges without screwing up or screwing over others.

"Buxomdream" will always produce the reaction she's blogging about in a certain proportion of males. It's no doubt been one of the foundational truths of her life since the girls popped out and said "hello."

From looking at her stream, the use of "appropriate foundation garments" would just make things worse for the unwary male.

By being accepting of herself and aware of the effect her breasts have upon men, she's also creating a dynamic that allows those so affected to realize that they are reacting and behaving on a primal level, and that it's ok, as long as everyone involved is having fun.

Let us also remember that certain men, by virtue of genetics, have attributes that make them extremely attractive to certain sorts of women; traits such as height, symmetrical features indicating a high testosterone level, broad shoulders - well, pick any "most eligible" from US or People, and whatever one's sexual preference, social status or life priorities, one WILL have to figure out how to work that to some sort of advantage with good outcomes - or one will pay the price in drama.

Ultimately, we all have to live with the genetic lottery results we are gifted and cursed with - and whether it's a curse or a gift (trust me on this one) is very much a question of our own choices and our awareness of how those "lottery results" affect how we fit into the culture we live in.

Any morality that makes us less aware and therefore more likely to cause harm to others out of moralistic judgement of ourselves or others in relationship to ourselves is unethical, and of course immoral in a much broader and profound way than any system of morality is likely to admit.

"An it harm none, do as ye will" - that conditional clause is a stone bitch.

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Monday, September 15, 2008

First, Do no harm: Please sign the DSM Revision Petition.

The DSM Revision Petition is gathering signatures from individuals and organizations
calling on the American Psychiatric Association (APA) to adhere to empirical research
when revising the diagnoses in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental
Disorders (DSM).

Statements currently within the DSM Paraphilias criteria are contradicted by scientific
evidence therefore NCSF must conclude that the interpretation of the Paraphilias
criteria has been politically, not scientifically based. This politically motivated
interpretation subjects BDSM practitioners, fetishists and cross-dressers to bias,
discrimination and social sanctions without any scientific basis.

"We, the undersigned, support the American Psychiatric Association's (APA) own
goal of making its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) a scientific document, based
on empirical research and devoid of cultural bias. A diagnosis of a mental disorder can
have a severe adverse impact on employment opportunities, child custody determinations,
an individual's well-being, and other areas of functioning. Therefore we urge the APA
to remove all diagnoses that are not based upon peer-reviewed, empirical research,
demonstrating distress or dysfunction, from the DSM. The APA specifically should not
promote current social norms or values as a basis for clinical judgments."

To sign, go to:
(You can make your signature anonymous on this secure petition site so it doesn't
appear on the Internet)

To find out more about the DSM and the Paraphilias section, read the NCSF & ITCR: The
Foundation for NCSF's "White Paper on the DSM Revision" at

For more information, email: Permalink to full story.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Free exhibition of abdominal muscles

From his Flickr profile: jml0256: "I only want to share pictures and don't want any -degenerates- as contact! I'm not interessed by a dick's man or sex parties..."

Yes, of course, you would have to be a degenerate to think this image had any focus other than her abdominal muscles.

It's an erotic truth that humans avoid admitting the erotic truth even when it's painfully obvious.

But that's what makes this gig fun. :P

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Monday, August 11, 2008

A litttle Ethnic Humor...

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Or, you could take it as an example of the depths to which an artist will sink in order to glean a little attention.

Note: link goes to an old fashioned htmlized ftp server; click any other link at your own risk. NSFW ... randomly.
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Natalie Galitzine: Female

Natalie Galitzine: Female

Yes she is - yet the usual angst and hints of drama of "young people," she's also got an eye for composition and color and a confidence in her own skin most of us would envy. Permalink to full story.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

A Gap in our Selves? Erotic manipulation of our purchasing decisions.

Do you worship at the The First Church of Christ, Mallwalker?

This video by Jessedocs explores the intersection of art, religion and marketing via the classic manikin. While I abhor stereotypes, it's difficult to say which are more stereotypical, the artificially perfect female manikins created by this company, the males creating them, or the marketing of them.

Personally, I can't say that the artificial perfection of display manikins has ever done much for me, artistically or erotically. But then, they don't exist to work on me - these forms are not aimed at men; they are made by men in order to construct in women the ideal of a perfect form.

I must be honest, at first, I thought I was watching a documentary about the people behind the "real doll" poseable sex toy.

By the way guys, if you are going to do portraits of your dolls - hire a hairstylist!!!

I was surprised and more than a bit creeped out to find that the people at realdoll seem far less creepy - and their products a little more realistic - at least, unless they are just utterly absurd.

My wife watched a full documentary about the men who buy real-dolls, sort of creeped out by the idea, but you know how it is; you keep waiting for the trainwreck. Well, there were indeed some creepy scenes - but more simply moved her to tears. Here's some YouTube examples - take your chances, if you will.

They actually have several fairly realistic bodies to go with faces that could easily be Faux News Spokesmuffins. In other words, these are not perfectly idealized faces. Yep, even men that want to have sex with a manikin would like a little more individuality than the people who make store manikins think is appropriate.

But then, when it comes to self-image, we have no sense of humor about our own appearance and far less tolerance for individual variation than the people looking at us. I've always found that the most attractive women who are accepting of their bodies whatever shapes they may be blessed with, and however divergent their faces are from the current whims of fashion

So, if you want to go for an idealized stereotype ... consider something like this.

It's no harder to have your head inflated and your skin plasticised than it is to become a perfectly symmetrical 35, 24, 36.

Come to think of it, Miss July reminds me of Dolly Parton. But then, they are both cartoon-inspired.

(The thing I most love about Dolly Parton is that she'd laugh and agree with the statement. Personally, though, I prefer her interpretation. On the other hand, she's a lot harder to book. )

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Friday, August 01, 2008

Monday, July 14, 2008

Graphictruth: Tim Couch; Is he a Pedophile, an Idiot, or just a Republican?

Graphictruth: Tim Couch; Is he a Pedophile, an Idiot, or just a Republican?

Rep Tim "Creepy" Crouch wants to "keep your children safe" by ensuring they aren't harassed by "online bullies."

He intends to do this in such a way as to make sure that any pedophile with a website will have a legally unassailable reason for collecting your child's personally identifiable information. Oh, and yours too. Just in case they also happen to be into credit fraud. Permalink to full story.

"Por No" - Colombian Artist/Singer Innata's second album

Bad Pun + Good Art=Worth a Look

Above the fold, her "censored image" as shown in her blog story about the album. (you will need a translation, probably.)

Por No - The Uncensored Cover
Via Flickr
Wednesday, june 18th, 2008.

This early morning, the Colombian singer Innita do a short comeback to public arena and shock-press-conference at Santa Marta, Colombia, releasing officially “por no”, her first long album, following the successful 2006’s debut EP called “innita”. Her new album’s tunes are stronger, heaviest, more in styles like ebm, joan jett’s riffs, long guitar solos and thus, less in Pop. In the cover of this conceptual album she is wearing nothing but a pair of vegan boots, which have created all kinds of comments after her daddy’s ballet-dancer girl image 2 years ago. “por no” is now all-free download, featuring today the first single “Mozart was a lesbian” which is the opening-song.

Innita said she abandoned her studies 3 months ago after a happy incident , ( ), and then it was inspirational for working in full time of composing and writing of this 20-songs album, which deals about “mental nudism, emotional menstruation and scarlet fairy-tale characters as veganvampires” in her own words. About the explicit photo of the cover, she says is a “universal homage to nature and personal homage to ‘Puss in Boots’, one of my favorite tales”.

A long interview will be published anytime soon.

In her myspace site, from today, there is available 5 tracks (3 of her debuting 2006’s EP), free to download.

to be continued .....
continuarĂ¡ .....

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Friday, July 11, 2008

Hecho Tiempo Conmigo

Hecho Tiempo Conmigo, originally uploaded by Jen Villota.

For some of the most amazing, painstaking SL compositions revolving around, sex, pain, violence and death, you simply must visit Jen Villota's Flickr stream.

Caution - this is one of the very few that simply implies all these things, most crotch-kick you and shove it down your throat, with a tape-gag following it.

Wet, tacky and dangerous!

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Tuesday, July 08, 2008

you are a f******** pig

you are a f******** pig
Originally uploaded by til01
This will SO not play in Peoria... but the point made about the typeface is really very correct.

I mean, should it not be as offensive as if it were done in Goudy Stout
or Impact?

And yet, it is not.
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Monday, July 07, 2008

The Sudbury Dryad's Last Repose (detail)

Detail from a very large image I just uploaded to Please click thru and give us some love...
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Sunday, June 29, 2008

We need to get these devices into our schools...

Japanese Sex Toy Culture

Is cultural acceptance of masturbation toys and lower birth-rate correlated? (PG)

The Japanese are famous for their love of technology as well as their embracing of sexuality, at least compared to most Western cultures. The combination of the two has produced a state-of-the-art sex doll that has led to a widescale sex doll fetish.

But it's also produced other devices, three of which I'll cover here.

A more compact and cheaper alternative is provided by the Japanese company Tenga, which has the tagline "New Adult Concept." This is a modern company all about new masturbation devices.

These cups come in various styles, each with their own color: "standard" is red, "hard" is black, and "soft" is white. A larger-size "U.S. Tanga" style (red with silver stripes) was the most recent edition (parallel to the recent development of larger-sized condoms in the U.S.).

Because this is Japan, where seemingly everything has to be sold through cute characters, each color even has their own anime girl character.

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Why? Well, because the Japanese are now complaining of a low birth rate - JUST as Jocelyn Elders predicted!!!!
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